Obama Approves Keystone Pipeline! Here's his speech. (Breaking News! Extra!Extra!)

Well, Obama has asked me to write him another speech, which is nice being that normally he simply steals my writings and craft them into his own speeches. So, Obama wants a speech to break the news that he will approve the Keystone Pipeline after elections. 

Of course I could not refuse the president and leader of the "free world". So here it is.

 

 

Obama speaking from a small and controlled town hall in Anywhere, USA in the year 2013 and AFTER the 2012 Elections.

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 Speech prepared by Nicolas Duplessis

 

Obama:

 

There is no one that has done more than me to move this country off of dirty fossil fuels and into a world of cleaner energy.

 

I have implemented green training programs, so that American College Students could learn the technology that will ensure that our country moves forward instead of lagging behind countries like China, in clean energy technology.

 

We will become leaders in clean energy. America will once again lead the world in cutting-age techonology. 

 

(Camera scans audience and zooms in on some blue collar, working class white people that are agreeing)

 

Reality Check-Obama gave hundreds of millions of tax payer dollars under the guise of clean energy and green technology training programs, but 99% of this money went to colleges and companies (many based in Ca State) that simply pocketed the money and went out of business or in the case of Long Beach City College, they never even took enrollment for their green automotive programs, yet they got million dollar grants of tax payer's money.

 

Obama:

 

It was my administration that held B. P. accountable and put a moratorium on deep sea drilling and made the oil company set aside 20 billion dollars so that we could....uhhh......guarantee that the people of the Gulf Coast could get compensated and get back to work and we kept the moratorium in place, even though....uhhhhh....those on the other side of the aisle accused me of trying to destroy the lives of these trillion dollar "mom & pop" oil companies....that had just left thousands of Americans without their livelihoods. 

 

My administration stood up and protected the livelihoods of Americans! (cheers)

 

Reality Check-Obama & Ken Salazar not only handed BP the permit, but BP basically made huge campaign donations to Obama and purchased this permit, which was originally supposed to go to Chevron and during the BP Oil Spill, Obama not only down played the disaster, but he only showed up to view the damage after he attended a series of White House Parties. 

• Not only has MMS and Ken Salazar issued more permits but Obama actually expanded the rights of foreign oil companies to also drill on private property in La., which was the undoing of policies put in place by Bill Clinton, to protect land owners in La. from predatory oil companies.

 

The 20 Billion Dollar BP Fund was also subsidized by tax payer funded Oil Subsidies, meaning that 10 billion of this fund came out of the pockets of the American People and BP has not paid out over this 10 billion dollar mark.

 

While Ken Salazar at the Mineral Management Services (MMS) rubber stamps unsafe permit after unsafe permit, he then spent months talking about the need for a Hispanic/Latino theme park in Colorado, which simply shows that neither of these men are anywhere near qualified to be brokers between the American People and foreign oil companies, which steal our oil and gives it to Europe.

 

Note: The Keystone Pipeline is a foreign pipeline that already has a rapid foreign work Visa back room deal cut with the US Gov, meaning that not even half of these jobs will go to American Citizens.

 

Obama:

 

I have been a champion for clean energy!  (Cheers from the rigged and planted idiotic Obama-zombie audience) 

 

I have been a champion for the rights of the environment and moving this country forward to a cleaner future! (More cheers)

 

I have been a champion for making oil companies pay up and clean up whenever an oil spill happens! (more cheers & fat black woman passes out)

 

I have been a champion for America! (more cheers) It's time to get FIRED UP! (Cheers)

 

Fired up about America! (Cheers) Fired up about clean energy! (Cheers) Fired up about American Innovation! (Cheers) Fired up about American Jobs! (Cheers)

 

Now I didn't create these problems but America has some problems.  I didn't put this truck in the ditch but the truck was in the ditch in 2008 but in 2013, we can see that this truck is starting to back out of that ditch! (cheers and more cheers) 

 

The truck is coming out the ditch folks! (MORE CHEERS)

 

This is why...uhh.....after much consideration and consulting with Lisa Jackson over at the...uhhh...EPA and Dr. Chu, who has a PhD along with Ken Salazar...uhh.... I & the US State Dept. have decided to approve the Keystone Pipeline.

 

This pipeline will bring jobs to the American People and get us off of foreign oil and bring us closer to energy independence.

 

My administration has also increased grants to companies for the manufacturing of solar and wind energy along with putting in place tough regulations to cut down on dirty coal power plants and CO2 Emissions.

 

I have been assured that the Keystone Pipeline will be clean and good for the environment and I know that it is an asset to help us get this truck out of the ditch. (Cheers)

 

God Bless You! And God Bless America!

 

"This was a great & historic speech by President Obama."

"I am always happy to work with the President, when he chooses to reach across party aisles, stop playing to the radical left base and to do whats right for the American People."

 

 

  

CURL: The truly dismal state of the union (50% of Americans are low income) under Obama - Washington Times: http://wtim.es/zYzEIK via @washtimes

 

G.E. the corporation that makes toxic waste mercury light bulbs, runs the Obama Admin and owns MSNBC, is using their tax free US profits to expand production in China http://robertreich.org/post/16360998542?utm_source=Daily+Digest&utm_campaign=bbeb94169c-DD_1_24_121_24_2012&utm_medium=email

 

Obama Administration Purposely Misled Public about Gulf Oil Spill Estimates - http://www.infowars.com/obama-administration-purposely-misled-public-about-gulf-oil-spill-estimates/

 

Obama and MMS to sell off more of America's Gulf Oil Property to foreign oil companies while he pushes for "clean energy" of tomorrow (LMAO!) http://www.cnn.com/2012/01/26/politics/obama-trip/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

 

the IRS reveals 36 Obama aides are far behind in their taxes by Andrew Malcolm - Investors.com: http://bit.ly/zc2B75

 

Republicans want Keystone Pipeline NOW! They will not play Obama's game and wait until after elections http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/senators-push-for-bill-to-approve-keystone-pipeline/2012/01/30/gIQAQysVdQ_story.html?wprss=rss_linkset&tid=sm_twitter_washingtonpost

 

BP Whistleblower Claims He was Fired for not Altering Cleanup Data http://www.allgov.com/Controversies/ViewNews/BP_Whistleblower_Claims_He_was_Fired_for_not_Altering_Cleanup_Data_120125

Monstanto, the biggest threat to the environment, says that safety test of their Frankenstein Bio-Genetic Freak Crops are not needed http://www.infowars.com/monsanto-there-is-no-need-for-or-value-in-testing-the-safety-of-gm-foods-in-humans/

 

President Obama leaves event promoting clean energy in a motorcade of 22 fossil-fueled vehicles http://bit.ly/wZ30Bj